


You're Not Perfect And That's Okay

by GalixaCraze



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Abuse, Angst, Assassin!Karkat, Death, Fighting, M/M, Murder, One-Shot, Sadstuck, Scars, Violence, but this is mostly just angst, human!Karkat, romcoms, there's like a little fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 05:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19457632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalixaCraze/pseuds/GalixaCraze
Summary: Karkat's an assassin determined to complete his mission.All he has to do is kill one guy, that's all.So why is that so goddamn impossible?~~~Karkat gets a job to kill Dave Strider, but when he finds out what his home life is like, he realizes this won't be nearly as easy as he was hoping.





	You're Not Perfect And That's Okay

When he first received the job, he thought nothing of it. 

After all, Karkat had killed many over the years, despite only being 16. He was one of the youngest assassins to ever live, and seemed to have a natural gift for it. There wasn't a person alive Karkat couldn't kill, whether it be an adult, a child, the elderly, boy, girl, he could kill anyone. Why? Because he was good at talking to people.

For some reason, even though he had a bad attitude, Karkat naturally drew people to him, like a moth to a flame. He could gain friends left and right if he wanted, it wasn't a problem. But usually those friends ended up dead, whether it was because they found out he was an assassin, or because he was ordered too.

It didn't bother him, he liked being an assassin. The rush he got from killing was satisfying, and he earned a lot of money too. And it wasn't hard to justify his actions, not when he despised the human race.

There wasn't a person alive who deserved to live, they were all bad in their own ways. Every human had a flaw, and no matter what they did it wouldn't be right.

Take Karkat's parents for example, they were abusive shit heads. They're what drove him to become an assassin, he got to witness their murder.

Because he was the one who did it.

He had killed them for survival one night, but it turns out an assassin had been order to murder them already, when she arrived at the scene, she saw potential in him and took him back to her boss.

That was 8 years ago.

Now he was the best of the best, and he earned that title. He still remembers his favorite job.

_(Terezi stepped into the dark room. Karkat had texted her, asking her to meet him there for lunch, which wasn't that unusual. They often ate together, ever since Terezi became his master. She's the one who brought him back to her boss, and taught him everything she knows about killing. Her favorite technique was choking someone to death, it was a slower process, but she enjoyed it._

_When she arrived, she saw Karkat sitting at the usual table with sandwiches and tea on the table. "Sorry I'm late, the last job was a pain." She explained as she sat down in front of him._

_"No worries." He grunted and took a bit of a sandwich._

_Terezi sipped her tea. "How's your work been going?"_

_"It's alright. The boss just gave me a big job." He explained._

_Her eyes widened a little in curiosity. "Oh?" She shook her head a little, she was starting to feel dizzy._

_Before she knew it, she had fallen off the chair, and was staring up at Karkat with blurry eyes._

_He held a knife in his hand, and his smile as always, was innocent without a flaw.)_

That job was truly one to remember. The day he could kill his master with such a simple plan, all he had to do was drug her tea. 

If she was that easy to kill, she didn't deserve to live as an assassin, so he didn't feel bad.

"Alright, what's my next job?" He asked his boss in annoyance. He had only been given a couple big jobs today, all of which he got done in less than an hour.

The man in front of him handed him a paper. It had pictures on it, alone with information about the target.

"Dave Strider? My age huh?" Karkat mumbled to himself. Looks like the kid knew a thing or two about combat, and he liked rapping. He also was obsessed with apple juice, and only lived with an older brother.

Maybe this would be easier than he expected, which was a little disappointing.

~~~

Karkat had slipped into the boy's apartment easily, and was hiding under the kid's bed. The guy was in the kitchen making himself a meal, this would be Karkat's easiest killing yet, he was certain of it.

Strider came into his room, and all of the information Karkat received matched. Light blond hair, almost white, pale white skin, casual clothing, black sunglasses, all of it was right.

But what the file failed to mention was the bruises on this kid's body. Karkat could see some marks on his face that shouldn't be there, and a horrible feeling filled his gut.

Now that he thought about it, Strider's file did mention that he's had multiple hospital visits with all kinds of injuries, but he's never gotten detention in school before, so it's unlikely it was from a fight with someone.

He'd need more information before he could say the cause for sure.

Strider sat down at his computer, a plate with a sandwich on it in hand, along with a cup of apple juice. He appeared to be...drawing?

The next 15 minutes were spent with Karkat trying to determine the best way of killing him.

Should he just use a knife? It was his best weapon.

Poison? Kind of boring.

Take a page from his master's book and try a hanging? Make the whole thing look like a suicide?

So many choices...

But just then, before he could make up his mind, the boy spoke. 

"Listen, person or possible monster hiding under my bed, I know you're there and you haven't made a single move, could you please say something or come out so I can beat the shit out of you with my sword? Cause you kind of broke into my apartment." Strider told him calmly, turning around in his chair to stare at his bed.

Karkat froze on the spot.

Huh.

Well this was new.

Before he could do anything, Strider suddenly tensed and looked towards his door.

"Oh fuck." He hissed, and then he ran towards his bed, and crouched down and oh shit he was staring directly at Karkat holy fuck-

"Dude, move the fuck over!" Strider shoved him to the side and got under his bed.

Karkat went to speak but Strider covered his mouth with his hand. "Shhh."

The door to Strider's room slammed open, and Karkat saw a man stumbling in. Strider's old brother.

There was little information on him, all Karkat had to work with was appearance stuff and just some normal things like what he did for work and shit, nothing helpful in any way shape or form.

The man looked around the room silently, glancing around for any sign of life, and then he mumbled. "Damn, guy cleans up good..." He said in a whisper before leaving the room, he shut the door behind him.

Strider sighed in relief and crawled out. "Thanks man, you wanna come out now?" He asked calmly.

Karkat had a choice to make. He could come out and kill Strider immedientally, like he was told to do, or he could come out and ask what the fuck just happened.

He picked the first option.

Slipping out from under the bed quickly, Karkat had his knife out and went for the kill, only for Strider to grab his wrist and knee him in the gut, making him fall to the floor in pain like a dumb ass.

"Wow. You're friendly." He said sarcastically, taking Karkat's knife away from him.

Well shit. This was quite the situation.

"Let me guess, you're some kind of serial killer?" Strider guessed casually, tossing the knife onto his desk.

"...Assassin actually." Karkat admitted, slowly getting up from the ground. He looked at Strider hesitantly, searching what he could of his face for any signs of fear, only to find that there were none.

Strider hummed in thought a little bit. "Interesting, so it was my bro who hired you huh? Guess that's why he came in, he was seeing if I survived." He commented.

"Wait, your brother is the one who sent the request? To kill you?" Karkat questioned in surprise.

"Yeah no shit. If you couldn't tell by my face, he's not the best guardian in the world." Strider gestured to the bruises on his face before putting his hands in his pockets.

Karkat swallowed hard, a horrible feeling in his stomach. He's never...had to deal with a kid being abused before...the boss specifically knows not to give him those jobs because they cloud his judgement.

So why was he sent to this one? He shouldn't even be here on this job.

"So, you got a name? I'm sure you know mine. I imagine you know quite a bit about me actually, they probably give you whatever info they can if it'll help your task." Strider walked over and sat down at his desk, still facing Karkat. He wasn't being cautious, he just kept his hands in his pockets and watched Karkat casually.

Karkat knew why, he knew Strider was confident, as if he could kill him if he so desired.

Wasn't Karkat suppose to be the killer? How dare this guy look down on his skills, it's insulting.

"...Vantas. Karkat Vantas." He spoke softly after a moment. 

"So, Karkat, what do you plan to do now? Want me to give you your knife and you'll go back to your boss and say you failed?" Strider asked in a almost teasing manner.

He scoffed and crossed his arms. "Failure is not an option for me, I'm the best assassin they've got, I've never failed a mission before and I won't start now."

"Well you're doing great so far. I had no idea being an assassin involved such long conversations with their targets." Strider smirked and picked up Karkat's knife, he threw it at him.

Karkat caught it effortlessly and glared at him. "Don't look down on my skills, I can't believe you just gave me my knife back. You understand I'm gonna kill you right?"

"Yeah fine, you can try to kill me. But I'm gonna order a pizza okay? Want anything specific?" Strider picked up his phone and began dialing a number.

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE GET OFF THE PHONE AND TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!" Karkat shrieked in anger, he rushed forward to slice Strider's throat with his knife, only for Strider to grab his wrist and hold him back with a strong grip, while his other hand held his phone.

He put the phone to his ear. "Yeah hi, I'd like to order a pizza. Just a combo, no mushrooms though. Um...one sec." Strider spoke into his phone before looking at Karkat. "Hey you want a drink?"

Karkat was fuming. "DIE!" He shouted in frustration, trying to kick Strider out of his chair.

Strider jumped out of his chair and watched with disinterest as Karkat kicked his chair over. He stood on his desk, phone still to his ear. "Yeah, we'll take two medium coke's. Nah my friend's just being a brat, he's cool though. Uh huh." Strider listened as the pizza place talked in his ear, and he blocked out all of Karkat's annoying ranting about how he's being unfair by not letting him kill him.

He's been in the killing buisness for 8 goddamn years and this was the most humiliating job of his life.

When Strider got off the phone, he looked at Karkat. "Alright pizza's on its way, wanna watch a movie?"

"Are you this nice to everyone who tries to murder you?" Karkat snapped.

He shrugged. "You seem harmless enough, you couldn't even hide under the bed properly, I feel bad for the people you work for."

"YOU ARE SO DEAD!" He shrieked in anger.

"Come on, I'm bored and I've never had someone over to hang out with, it'll be fun, you'll see." He smiled a little and left his room, making Karkat follow him.

The apartment was messy, there was weird puppets everywhere and swords just scattered about, Karkat's pretty sure he also saw some porn here and there, whether it be in magazine form or DVD form.

This...wasn't okay. He wasn't suppose to even be here, why was he still here? 

Well...he'd never been in this situation before.

Usually he kills his target after a couple minutes and is on his merry way, but this is the first time someone's ever spotted him and had stopped him.

"...You understand I'll have to kill you...right?" Karkat asked hesitantly as they arrived at the living room.

Strider sighed a little. "Yeah I get it man...but fact is, it won't happen. I've got to kill you. The reason my bro hired you was to test me, see if I'm strong enough to kill the best assassin out there. I gotta bring him your head so...if you want to kill me," Karkat nearly flinched at the long sword suddenly pointed at him, the tip barely touching his neck. 

He stared at Strider's shades, trying to see passed them. "You're gonna have to beat me in a fair fight." He said calmly before dropping the sword. Where did he even get it? Karkat didn't see him pick one up.

"Well then why don't we just do this now Strider? A fight to the death." Karkat snapped, balling his hands into fists. 

"First, just call me Dave okay? And second, I'd rather not. We just ordered pizza and I'd really like to watch a movie. I've never had company before, I thought it'd be fun. Come on, just one movie?" He whined childishly.

...Well it's not like anyone would ever know that he spent time with his target first...

And he really liked romantic comedies.

"I'M CHOOSING THE MOVIE!" He snapped, trying not to smile at the stupid grin on Dave's face.

~~~

One movie turned into five movies, and the pizza was long gone, with only two slices left over in the box, along with some crust. The soda's were still half way full and weren't likely to be finished.

The boys were resting on the couch, Dave had turned completely upside down and had his head hanging off the couch. Karkat stared at the movie intently, tearing up a little.

"You are not seriously crying." Dave snapped.

Karkat slowly turned his head to glare at Dave. "FIRST OF ALL, ALADDIN IS A BEAUTIFUL MOVIE, SECOND, FUCK YOU!" After the first two movies they had swapped over to Disney.

Dave just groaned a little. "Yeah yeah Disney magic whatever, look it's nearly midnight and my bro's gonna come out of his room soon, he's gonna be pissed if he sees you."

Just like that, Karkat felt a sadness building up inside him. "Oh..."

"Yeah. Like, not to be rude, but I'd rather not get an even harsher beating than the one I'm probably gonna get. You can stick around if you want, but you need to hide and pretend like you're gathering information and shit, my bro won't suspect anything if he thinks you haven't made a move." Dave explained casually, getting up and throwing out one of the soda's, that'd be pretty suspicious.

"...Come with me." Karkat said without thinking. Dave froze and stared at him.

"What?"

Karkat swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Become an assassin. You have the skill for it...and you'd be able to get away from your brother."

"And in exchange I kill a bunch of innocent people." Dave pointed out.

Karkat growled. "Nobody is innocent, every human has something that makes them a monster. Your brother could be your first kill! That's how I became an assassin, I killed my parents before they could kill me, and then Pryope, she's my master, took me in."

"And this master of yours, what happened to them?" He asked calmly.

This made him freeze, he glanced down at the ground shamefully. "Well..."

"You killed her, didn't you?" He snapped.

"It was my mission." He said simply.

Dave scoffed. "Man, that's always the excuse isn't it? It's that way in tv shows and movies too. Because it's their assignment, they could through with it no matter how much it hurts inside. Tell me," He lifted his head slightly and Karkat flinched. Dave was looking down on him with judgement, and for the first time since they spoke he's glad Dave wore shades.

"Did you let her bleed to death slowly?" He snapped. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

Finally, he glared at Dave and spoke. "So what if I did? The point is she's dead now. I know her, she's proud of me. She always killed in harsh ways, I know she's happy." He snapped.

Dave stared at him silently, and then they both heard a door open. 

Silently, Karkat went inside the cabinet under the tv, just as Bro came out. 

He seemed to freeze when he saw Dave, and then looked around the room.

"Sup?" Dave greeted shortly, looking at the tv screen, Aladdin was still playing, he didn't even notice.

"You're watching Aladdin?" Bro questioned, picking up one of the slices of pizza left in the box.

Dave shrugged in response, he appeared to be staring at the tv, but his eyes were on the cabinet Karkat was hiding in.

"...Dave?" Bro said suddenly, making Dave look at him in mild surprise.

He seemed hesitant to speak, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to say what he was thinking. Much to Dave's relief, Bro changed his mind and just stormed off to his room without another word.

When the door slammed closed, Karkat crawled out of the cabinet and sighed in relief.

"I think me being alive threw him off." Dave smirked.

Karkat couldn't help smiling a little. "I'm gonna need to kill you."

"That's nice, can it wait till tomorrow? I'm tired." Dave commented, standing up and stretching.

The assassin raised an eyebrow. "How do you know I won't kill you in your sleep?"

Much to his shock, Dave just smiled at him. "You won't. You're not that kind of guy, assassin or not." Karkat froze down to his very core as Dave headed for his room.

Growling a little, he followed after him. Fine, maybe he wouldn't kill him tonight, he was kind of tired anyways. He can kill him tomorrow.

~~~

They keep watching movies.

Every time Karkat goes to assassinate Dave, he bribes him with a new romantic comedy and Karkat can't help himself.

Once, he tried to kill Dave during the movie, but Dave had blocked his attack and as punishment he turned off the movie before Karkat could see how it ended.

They agreed that no more assassination attempts could be made from either of them during movie time.

Bro gave Dave a time limit. He didn't say what it was for, cause he didn't need to.

He had to kill Karkat by the end of the month. So that was it, they had one month.

Karkat hates that with every movie they watch, he finds himself wanting to wait another day to try killing him. He can't keep putting it off like this, he has to do it before he gets too attached.

"Wanna read this novel I picked up? I thought you liked it since we watched the movie." Karkat ended up reading a novel out loud to Dave for a couple hours, and he enjoyed every second of it.

He thinks they're friends now, and it makes him want to puke.

~~~

Karkat sat on the edge of the roof of the apartment building, staring off into the distance.

This mission...it was...making him think about stuff.

Weird stuff.

Like, what it would be like if he actually failed the mission.

Would it...really be so terrible?

So maybe he fails the mission, that's fine whatever.

And maybe he quits being an assassin so he can be a normal kid again, why not?

And then perhaps he and Dave could run away together to somewhere safe, and forget about any problems they ever had.

...It's unrealistic, and impossible...he knows that.

"Hey." Karkat doesn't bother replying or even turning to look at Dave, he just waits until Dave comes over and sits down next to him.

"Has it really been a week?" Dave asked.

Karkat hummed a little. "Yeah...this is the longest its ever taken me to complete a mission." He admitted.

Dave chuckled. "Glad I could be the exception I guess."

He glanced at Dave, taking a moment to look him over. He was thing, kind of tall, his hair looked very soft...and so did his skin. He had some scars, and Karkat wouldn't lie, they weren't beautiful. They weren't something that made him look incredible, and yes, if Dave didn't have those scars he would probably look better than he already did.

But that wasn't the point right? Karkat liked Dave despite his scars, and thought he was attractive even if his body wasn't flawless. 

That's what it means to like someone for who they are. You accept them for all of their flaws, and not in the 'your flaws are also perfect' way, but in a 'you can be flawed, I'll like you regardless' way, a realistic way.

He'll be honest, Karkat's never felt this way about anyone before. He never even thought it was possible.

Is it possible? Can he really like someone who he's only known for a week? Probably.

He thinks he probably does, but he already knows for certain. He knows when Dave smiles at him with a smile that makes his head spin.

He likes Dave. He _knows_ he does. And that's _okay_.

"...We'll have to fight," Dave grips the edge of the roof tightly with his hand. "...It's only a matter of time."

And then he says things like that, and Karkat remembers that there's nothing okay about this situation at all.

"I'll kill you." He says simply, hating the way those words lost their bite.

Dave was silent for what felt like an eternity. "...We'll see."

He had to kill him. Nobody in the world deserved to live, that's just the way it is. That's what Karkat truly believes.

But then Dave looks at him with that sad smile that makes his heart melt, and he despises that voice in the back of his head saying that Dave might be the one human alive that actually deserves to live.

~~~

The last few weeks had been fun. Karkat's never enjoyed himself this much before. Truthfully, the idea of hanging out with another human being made him nauseous.

Not Dave though. He's...just different.

He was fun to be around. For once in his life Karkat felt like he was normal, like he was just a regular kid going to school and hanging out with friends, like he wasn't trying to figure out how to kill someone.

It...made him a little sad, thinking about that stuff.

Sometimes he wondered if this was the right thing to do. If he wouldn't be happier just...being normal.

Pyrope must be scowling at him.

It didn't take long for Karkat to reach the park he was suppose to meet Dave at. He always liked the park, it was a place he could go to forget about his parents and just play.

He sat down on the old swing set. He was the only one at the park and thankful for it. It meant he could swing happily like a little kid without a care in the world.

So that's what he did. He swung back and forth until he was staring up at the sky. He felt like he was flying. He was like a bird soaring through the skies, escaping all of his problems and worries and just...flying off to a place where things were a little less scary.

"Having fun?" He glanced down as he swung to see Dave standing near by smiling.

"A little." He admitted, looking back up at the sky.

They left a comfortable silence form, and Dave watched for a few minutes as Karkat seemed to go higher and higher.

"Jump off, I'll catch you." Dave told him.

Karkat scoffed. "You're crazy."

Dave grinned. "Duh. Come on!" He held his arms open and...

Honestly? Karkat felt no reason to doubt him.

He waited until he was at the highest point and then let go of the chains, sending himself flying. His eyes shut tightly as he fell, only to fall into Dave's arms.

It wasn't graceful like in the movies. He knocked Dave down onto the floor and it hurt, they both let out a grunt of pain before laughing at how stupid that stunt just was.

He could've just died, why did he even do that? 

But when Karkat stared down at Dave's grinning face, he realized it was worth it.

Dave smiled up at him, he had a cute grin. It wasn't a typical cool guy smirk like Karkat would expect, it was actually more of a nerdy silly grin, the kind Karkat never thought someone like Dave could make.

He lifted his head and kissed Karkat on the lips, and that _did_ feel like those scenes from those movies he loves.

_'...I'm gonna miss you...'_

When their kiss broke, they grinned at each other stupidly and pressed their foreheads together.

_'I hate you, I'm gonna miss you bad...'_

~~~

Karkat followed Dave up to the roof, knife tight in his hand. Dave could use whatever weapons he wanted, he was gonna stick with his one knife.

It's all he needed.

They stood in front of each other, a light breeze going by, blowing their hair softly. Karkat's brown eyes met Dave's bright red ones, so many emotions could be seen, too many to count. It was the first time Karkat had ever seen his eyes.

His eyes...they were creepy...and yet they were also beautiful in their own way.

"...Are you sure you want to do this? I can end your life quickly." Karkat spoke softly, his grip on his knife was loose, too loose.

Dave didn't break eye contact, and Karkat could see his resolve. "You have to do this for your boss, for your reason for living. I have to do this to survive, to please Bro. We both have our own reasons for doing this, so no hard feelings okay?"

"...I love you." Karkat spoke in a whisper, finally breaking eye contact and looking down at the knife in his hand. He doubts Dave even heard him.

If he did, he ignored him, which was probably for the best anyways.

The boys charged at each other, nothing but an intent to kill in their eyes. The sooner this was over, the better.

One swing, they just had one swing. Whoever hit first would win.

 _'I know Dave...you feel like you have to do what Bro tells you, in order to stay safe...I use to think that way too.'_ Karkat thought back to all the times his parents would beat him until he did what he was told.

It was hard. Hard to get out of bed every day and know what was waiting for him. It was terrifying and he couldn't take it.

 _'Maybe you're right, maybe no matter what it's not okay to kill...you hate this...I can tell. I haven't known you for that long, but I just know...'_ He was coming closer, sword ready to stab Karkat without hesitation. 

He had to strike first, for Pyrope, for his boss, for his beliefs-

His mind went back to when he and Dave kissed at the park.

And his resolve shattered.

Dave's eyes widened when Karkat dropped his knife, and his entire body relaxed. He was too close, he couldn't stop even if he wanted too.

His sword stabbed through Karkat's chest like a knife through butter. The sound was horrifying, the cutting of skin, the blood splatter, the cry that Karkat let out...It made Dave want to die in that moment.

He watched in despair as the assassin fell to his knees, Dave's sword still through his chest. He flopped over onto his side and blood slid out of his mouth and dribbled down his chin, hitting the roof with quiet little splatters.

"K-Karkat?...KARKAT!" Dave yelled his name in horror, quickly getting on his knees and pulling Karkat to his chest. He was looking up at Dave with half lidded eyes.

"I'm sorry...I...I couldn't do it...I didn't want to hurt you..." He admitted softly as more blood slid out the side of his mouth. His sight was blurry, and he was close to blacking out.

It was...better this way.

Tears filled Dave's eyes in that moment, as he held Karkat in his arms. "But why?...You...You said this was your mission! Why would you fail...for me?" He asked sadly.

"...Because...if completing my mission means killing the one I love...then I'll just keep failing...forever. You're the first person...I've ever wanted to protect...so I'll die with that feeling...living without it...is too painful anyways." He spoke softly, coughing a couple times and allowing more blood to slid out.

The light in his eyes was dying.

Dave felt tears slide down his cheeks, his body began to tremble.

"Tell your brother...you defeated me...I'll be watching over you...stay alive." Those were Karkat's last words, his body stilled in Dave's arms.

He hugged the assassin tightly as he cried. "No...NO!"

Dave wasn't sure how long he was there for, it felt like centuries. A new hatred for his brother formed in his chest.

This was his fault.

He made Karkat die.

But that's when it occurred to him, he'd be so screwed if Bro saw him hugging Karkat's corpse. He gently set him down on the ground and stood up.

Karkat's blood was on his body, and it make him tremble.

He's not sure how long he stood there for, but at some point he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn't bother turning around, what difference would it have made?

"Good job little man."

It was sickening how satisfying his praise was.


End file.
